they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm passing your future prison.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
