after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize