what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
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