Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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