Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
