but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
