Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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