There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
