hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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