Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
this will be a night to untag.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
