That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
