i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
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