she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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