I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
