keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
