lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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