He kissed a someone with a penis
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize