i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
