Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
