we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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