I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
