i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize