Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Randomize
