I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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