Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
