PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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