You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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