Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
