well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
