It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
