Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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