I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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