I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
