So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
