its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
