hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
