saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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