You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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