Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
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