dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
