how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
