I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
