when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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