The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
