I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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