Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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