discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
