problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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