people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
