Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
