Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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