Church boner. Awkwardddd
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I know her cup size but not her name....
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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