I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Found the puke drawer
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
