I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
