And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
