We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
