so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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