No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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