I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
