Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize