I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
and you fell through a lawn chair
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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