He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
