You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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