He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i may or may not be watching the land before time
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
